I’ve wrote a couple more posts but they are all in my drafts. All unfinished. All unspoken words of my life. I feel as if my happy go lucky nature has been hidden for quite some years. I tell myself I need to become me again. This is not who I am. This is not who I want to be. Authenticity, honesty, and living up to my values is important in my life. If people are not align with my values, who I am as a person, or I guess maybe don’t vibe with me, there’s no use to continue on with that string of friendship. I haven’t seen or talked to many I love or close to. It’s that feeling of shame and pride again. It’s never a good thing. It’s something I have to overcome and let go. It happens.
When it comes to meeting people, I remember testing out all the waters. I floated from group to group in high school. In college, I was still open to everyone in the libraries, the cafeterias and such. At work, I just talked to whoever was around whenever I felt like it. Sometimes you would find people to just not like you at all. I learned that. It’s like they first meet you, they hate you and it’s like okay, I don’t get why but I’ll just accept they hate me for no reason even if I didn’t talk to you in any such bad way. I thought of I’ll be likeable and cool to everyone, but that just doesn’t work in this world. You can’t be liked by everyone. You just need to be yourself and roll with it. If someone likes you or not, who cares? You really can’t change everyone, especially people of the older generation have a much more stringent point of view of life. You have to float, float, float some more until you find the people you vibe with. Or you can just make the group of people you vibe with so it’s easier on your money and time. It’s pretty easy that way. Just make sure there is no drama queen in the group, hell to the no. That can just break the whole group apart. Why be in one where it makes you feel stressed, emotionally drained, or you force yourself to fit in and adapt? Why? It’s not you, don’t do it, or you’ll hate yourself later. Maybe you won’t even remember yourself after being so consumed with the crap..but oh well, it’s all on you.. I guess..
I love and appreciate my friends and I truly choose to talk and stick with those who I have fun with and knowledgeable. Also they have to be good people. There are people out there but you just don’t vibe with everyone. You just know. The silence with someone can speak words. It’s like if in silence you can understand what vibe it is. Trust that and always have boundaries. Boundaries are important to any relationship or friendship or “ship.” It’s important. And if those people you are around have the same values and keep up to those boundaries, then that’s good. You’ll know whose good people after spending or talking to many many people, you just get it. And spending more time.
Cherished Memoir 