A re-post from my old blog. Written September 26, 2011
I remember when I took Arabic Literature: In Translation, I felt as if I was different with my answers in the class. The class was small and consisted of about 8-9 people, but when I spoke, my answers seemed quite bizarre or out of the ordinary when I answered the professor’s questions. I found that maybe me and her were both from two different worlds, yet we grew up and were born in the same exact town/city when she asked where in Queens I was from. She has experienced so much more compared to me though. As she grew up, she was raised in different environments such as Egypt, England, and many other such places I cannot remember. She was born here but she had experienced growing up in many different places in the world and grew up with such a “must dive in” before life ends attitude. She was white you see, but she had such passion for being Arab or having being enriched in the Arabic/Middle Eastern culture. She even spoke Arabic to others of who she knew was of the culture or descent. It makes me wonder what have I done? What have I gone through? Maybe she thought of bigger things because of her travels. That’s what makes me wish in experiencing more in my life as well as the world. I love culture, I love the world, but what do I have to show to it and bring to it?
Going back to the start, I knew I was different in that class. I knew I had a different perspective from everyone else. Not only in that class did my opinions stick out but in other classes too. I felt singled out because my thoughts were so out of the ordinary and were just different. Many times my answers were accepted but you can see it on those professors’ faces, like what is this girl really thinking? I know now for the past couple of weeks, days, months, that I am not a person that can be hidden, invisible quite easily. Even though I used to try not to dress as extravagant or out of the norm, I used to be noticed. It was like that for me since I was younger. I was always picked out from the crowd either because of the way I stood out in looks or of what I said that were conveyed to the public. I have to come to accept that I am different. I do stick out. I can’t hide myself because I will always get picked on for something peculiar in what I say or look. I will always be singled out and the attention will face my way even though I don’t want it.
Acceptance..acceptance..acceptance..it’s something of value that everyone has to take in, and what I mean is not for society as a whole accepting you who you are but within yourself. You have to accept yourself, what you say, what you do, who you are –inside and out. By accepting yourself, that will probably create a confidence and fearless overlook of what is it that you can only possess and hold. Be you – not anything less or anything more. Accept what you have to give to the world, accept what you are and what you do, and accept the fact that you cannot change how the world thinks of you. You, you, you.
Cherished Memoir 